Future Culinary Master T-Shirts

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

Cookbooks

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Rump roast?"

Picking pastries.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Turkey Autopsy

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."