Future Culinary Master T-Shirts

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Cookbooks

Picking pastries.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I come here for the pepper."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Turkey Autopsy

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."