Graduating Culinary School T-Shirts

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."

'I nearly made it through culinary school selling wine books - then their library caught on.'

American style Greek cafe.

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

Devil's Kitchen - "This soup is cold!"

"You've never mashed spuds before have you?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Rump roast?"

Cookbooks

Picking pastries.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I come here for the pepper."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."