Culinary Coach T-Shirts

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"If you would care to take a seat, our waiter, Paul, will be with you momentarily."

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'It's all homemade.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

Kiss the Commander in Chef

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"Then add one extra large egg..."