Culinary Coach T-Shirts

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"If you would care to take a seat, our waiter, Paul, will be with you momentarily."

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'It's all homemade.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Old Spice

Al Dante

'Who ordered the shark?.' '