Quirky Humor Digger Gifts

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Fresh pepper?"

Introducing...Anagraman.

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