Quirky Humor Buff Gifts

Hen and pig get coffee then milk from cow.

"I undressed already to save us both some time."

Lake Skater

"He was my first patient."

"That's my studio. You know, where I work on the hot dogs."

'Prance! Prance I say!'

"But he's stranger than you. Does that mean you and I should get married?"

He was thrown out of the Merry Men after he refused to stop picking his bows

'Good grief. I think your body rejected your cornea transplant.'

"Of course Sir, it works wonders on blood stains..."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"You left this on our ship."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Theatre Masks and Butts

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'