Quirky Housing Enthusiast Gifts

"To enforce social distancing we erected walls between booths and then we added windows to protect the staff and private bathrooms to keep our facilities sanitary. We kind of kept going from there and our whole staff caught Covid anyway but now we've built some pretty decent affordable housing."

"Mmm... not sure about these new high-rises..."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Rogue elephant

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Real Estate Personals

Snow globe

'They're playing house.'

Carnations.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"Butt cracker"

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

Arrow Church

Turtle Eviction

'Design brief.'

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

Homes of the font designers

Have you seen this toaster?

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

'Funny place to put an esculator.'

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

Unfinished business.

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'