Quirky Grandparent Lover Pillows

Future Old People

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"I'm an assistance dog."

Young MacDonald

"I'd tell you about my grandchildren, but their lawyers have advised against it."

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

The Bowling Family

'The Fly' Starts A Family.

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

'Child resistant cap'

"They're voice-activated. I bark, they jump."

'Moonbeam just had a hippie replacement.'

That's what I call value.

"I grew up in the drug culture but now I get the same effect by standing up too fast."

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

"Will a small deposit hold this until I can soften up my grandmom?"

"...And that's my cousin James. He was raised by a family of gophers."

'There's gin in the thermos. Make sure not to share it with the kids, even if they lose.'

I shrank another inch! Woo-hoo!

"Damn, looks like that snotty kid of Ben and Edna's is coming up the tunnel of light."