Flirtatious Grandparent Pillows

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"I'm an assistance dog."

Future Old People

Young MacDonald

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

Glastonbury: 'Paul McCartney's attracted some older visitors this year.'

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

'Child resistant cap'

'Moonbeam just had a hippie replacement.'

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."

"I grew up in the drug culture but now I get the same effect by standing up too fast."

"Grandpa fatty died a heroic death - he bit through the main power cable in the slaughterhouse."

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'Mom! Grandma is sneaking a smoke again!'

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

"This is great, Mavis! Let's have another go!"

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!

'There's gin in the thermos. Make sure not to share it with the kids, even if they lose.'

I shrank another inch! Woo-hoo!

'Grandpa, can your inner child come out and play?'

"For Sale. Used once by a little old lady in tennis shoes."