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Maraschino, Inc.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"It's half price because we ran out of lemons and used crushed onions."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Tzatzikicicle

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Cheese Secret

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pastrami in the wild

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'