Quirky Fire Skeptics Gifts

"The Heretic" - Imitation log fire

Marshmallows

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Courage. Love.

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

Pollution Look

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

Studying Fire Behavior

Peak oil and the limited future of petrol cars.

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

"Interesting concept. Have you thought about using fossil fuels?"

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

"The interrogation went on for hours, but they couldn't get coal to come clean."

Research for Spontanious Human Combustion - Thank you for not smoking

'Oh it's quite a D.U.S.I.'

Forest Fire Hazard

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

Oh, sure, blame the match, it's always blame the match - Does it look like this was my idea?

Lighting it will kill you.

"Dear Mrs. Gravitch: Your fears are groundless. With the proper precautions, nuclear energy is clean and safe..."

"We should play with this for a while before the women become cautious and sensible."

'Don't tell me how to work safely! I've been at this job for over five years!'

Jeff tests the smoke alarms.

'I don't know, Sparky. I think you just met your match.'

'Take that thing outside. As if we don't stink enough.'

Clean Coal

'No need for alarm Ma'mm. It's just our new ladder design for these delicate problems.'

... And then accountability reared its ugly head!

"I thought you measured the distance to the ground. I hope Bob's okay."

At a drive-thru - 'Do you mind getting rid of that disgusting cigarette sir?!'

'Suppose smoking kills you and we don't have nine lives?'