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Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

"It's a 'fly on the wall' snuff movie."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Herman Mankiewicz

No-Work Orange

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Stand-up Romcom

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Cut!

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'There's nothing on.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Say hello to my little friend."

The star hunters

Reese Witherspoon

Candid Camera store.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Time Machine Collision

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

Buster Keaton

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"