Quirky Family Gatherings Gifts

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

Children of the Cornhole

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

celebrating a birth.