Enjoying Family Gatherings Gifts

"I'm thankful for not being a turkey."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Ahhh...'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Polygamists' Picnic

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

celebrating a birth.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."