Family Gatherings Gifts

"Sorry, guess I didn't get the email, the DMs, the Snaps, the Facebook comments, the LinkedIn messages, or the TikTok duets."

"That's strange. I remember it differently, in a way that aligns with my world view and casts me in a positive light."

Thanksgiving Boxing Ring

"Alexa, would you like to say grace?"

Smartphone Holiday.

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

"One more - Billy wasn't crying."

The kids never let David forget the year he just couldn't find the afikoman.

"I'm about to experience the totality of who I am!"

"Every family has one weird relative - if you don't know who it is, then it's probably you."

"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."

"How about if this year you're in charge of the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls, salads, and pies and I'm in charge of football viewing and bringing the little table up from the basement."

"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"It's your grandparents, claiming their visitation rights."

'That's your Uncle Joe. He's the black sheet of the family.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"We had this last year."

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

Social Distance Seder

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

Family argument: 'Download peace and goodwill' on computer.

'The following video contains scenes of swearing and violence' - Family holiday

'It's beginning to look at lot like Christmas.'

Fruit Fly Photo Albums

'That easy chair used to be harder.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We're spending Christmas with our grandparents in the Land of Forced Smiles."

"We tried a vegan Thanksgiving this year, but our family still showed up."

"Where there's a will...there are relatives!"

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table