Quirky Facts Collector T-Shirts

'This says that under certain conditions cows become combustible... I'd hate to be one of those.'

Before the Internet

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

The Month of July

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Funky Facts: Elephants.

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

The Month of June

Funky Facts: Turtles.

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

'I'm typecast!'

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

"Sorry, but statistics don't lie: hippopotamus are more dangerous to humans than lions..."

"Trust me—sex sells."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Wayne. Wayne once sat in a bath full of jelly for 24 hours.'

Don't give up - Surrender.

"It's windy outside. I better not hear you've been hanging out in the grocery store parking lot."

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

"It says here the word 'brandy' comes from a Dutch word meaning burnt wine. At last, something appropriate to serve at one of your barbeques!"

Evolution...the modern-brush fox.

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

'Should I have a baby after 35?' 'Isn't 35 children enough?'