Quirky Entertainment Seeker Pillows

"Life for Hans was Grim Until The Launch of the Buttocks Channel."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Hay Rides $10

wattle covers

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Unicorn Working From Home

"Static cling."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Who knew grass migrates?

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Drinking Companions

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Pioneers of the ancient west

The Phyllis Diller Collection

"Any other skills?"

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

The Dancing Academy

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."