Quirky Doc T-Shirts

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Joint Ventures!

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"No more Dr Nice guy"

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"