Quirky Dining Fan T-Shirts

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

A table setting that includes dentures.

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

Open House of Horrors

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

The water desk

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Deer Cross Dressing.

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"We're out of flowers."

Nouveau wine

Mice 25¢

"He's at that awkward age."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Beachy Hair

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

Crossword bathroom tiles.