Quirky Critique Enjoyer Pillows

"My boss combines the impulsive joie de vivre of Ebenezer Scrooge with the empathy and comradeship of a tarantula. Less hair, though."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Nun Fight.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

Football Crazy strip six

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Cheesie Rider

"Your animal companionship is here!"

God with Earth Controller

"Overkill, dude."

A planet like ours - "Oh no, last time we got romantic, I ended up having to grow a new head."

"I'm a monster."

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

Mummy Shrink.

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Curiosity."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

"We're making progress."

Pianist.

'I can't tag him, he keeps his watches there.'

Noah's lesser known brother.

"High Fashion"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."