Quirky Contest Lovers T-Shirts

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'Rhea of the Year.'

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

Hit a duck, win a prize.

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

Tug the Toggle

'Fairy friday.'

Strange Wrestling

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

Because it contains thousands of individual characters, burping the alphabet in Japan is truly a glorious achievement.

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

Man Wins Second Prize in a Knobbly-Knees Competition.

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

Shopping Cart Races

'Most exotic fleas'

'I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen.'

Knobbly knees champion

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest

"My wife enters every competition going."

Philtrum

"Yes! I love having staring contests with you!!"