Quirky Compiler Gifts

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Do it yourself books.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"I compose using post it notes!"

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

Dead Man's Handel

Attitude Counselor.

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Problem solving centre.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"See no more hiccups."

"I said you should develop an app that earns money, not prints money!"

'Part of the problem, meet part of the solution.'

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

Melody Cockroach.

Man on desert island picks the fishing hooks out of the fish he is eating.

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

Conductor Smokes Musical Notes.

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

"I will now play a familiar seasonal piece."

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

"I'm facing my fears in alphabetical order. How about you?"

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

Violinist and boot