Quirky Comics Appreciators Gifts

Dirty Martini.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Horse draws a baby carriage.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

Top Secret Files

Cat being licked by plant.

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

'...and I also feel guilty for smelling up your office.'

'Going up?'

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

Dog Jogger

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

"There are tomato genes in the cod, spinach genes in the trout, carrot genes in the halibut..."

'What do you mean, you want a divorce?'

How Guinea Pigs are made.

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

Completing the Beast

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.