Quirky Comic Collector Gifts

The Experimental Procedure

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

Nuttington Naturists - Ironing Facility. Banish Wrinkley Birthday Suits.

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

"I'm popping out for some anonymous sex. Can I bring you back anyone?"

"The bad news is that you have a disease unknown to medical science. The good news is I'm going to name it after me."

It's A Breeze

'That side's no good - try over here.'

Men/Women/Santa.

Missing Husband - 'OMG! You mean he's coming back?!'

Queuing for the execution.

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'We're really looking for an applicant who's got more snip, snail and puppy dog tail.'

'Inappropriate touching - What are you in for?'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

21st century fish, evolving or mutant?

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Give me all the juicy details."

'I want to find out what's on the other side.'

'Hi. I'm your executioner -- why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?'

Crocodile as a Deterrent to Suicide.

101 uses of a dead cat: paddle

'Your you is unzipped.'

Hannibal Becomes More Conciliatory.

'Mrs. Tilley, the responsible thing to do is trace the origin of your STD. Now does your boyfriend work in a home or a public park?'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"You're a gullible twat."

'He said there's a 40-minute wait for non-smoking.'

"Of course I didn't tell you I was visiting, you were hardly likely to be out , were you."

The Haunted Dog House

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

Help! I'm being kept prisoner.

Stay Safe

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

"And hold the onions, otherwise he'll be burping in my face."