Quirky Cocktail Explorer T-Shirts

"It's okay...lots of us realize we hate pumpkin martinis after the holidays."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Complaints Desk

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

California Beverages Map

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

'Rotgut whiskey is much more festive served with a paper umbrella, don't you think?'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

Dutch Courage

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Hold The Pickles

"Punch Drunk"

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

the Lesser-known Nogs

"I thought it came with an acorn."

'Do you have any coffee?'

"Tuna Colada"

'I'm part of my wife's fitness program. I keep changing bars so she has to walk all over the ship to find me.'

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

'They've set the bar too high!'

"All of our menu items have a tobacco-juice base."

Which alcohol delivery system do you recommend this fine evening?

Giamatti: Full-bodied, with subtle hints of chicory, chocolate, and feet.

"This is the last time I order a Molotov cocktail from this joint."

Beer is made by men, wine by god.

Grappa Pump