Quirky Cautioners Pillows

Caution Dulcimer

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Expressions of mystery.

Egg Buggy

Geekasaurus.

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'I like it.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"Spare us the gory details."

Off the wall legal advisor.

'I'm terribly mixed up.'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disciplines you, counselor. No problem, your honor. I just happen to have some furry handcuffs in my pocket.

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

The End is Near Due To Global Warming/The End is Near due to Nuclear Winter.

'I know you want to draw attentin to your blog, but having a wardrobe malfunction won't help.'

Beach psychiatrist.

Have you tried drinking ?

'We've simplified the warning label to 'May result in lawyers'.'

My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the station, its advertisers and especially the teleprompter technician, who thinks I'm a total freakin' mor

Being careful on social media.