Quirky Canine Companion Pillows

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'Fetch.'

Dog Walking Services

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Cat Show

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Lap fish..."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Giraffe Selfie

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Penguin Remote

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Upper East Side Dog Park

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."