Quirky Bread Buyer Gifts

'The scanner says you're the only one in the neighborhood of your ethnic group who buys raisin bread.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Doughboy Dad

'The body is made up of millions and millions of crumbs.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

Unusual Offers

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Marriage is a compromise. I'm sweet rye and your father is sourdough, but we make it work."

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

Early Morning Roll Call.

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

(Direct to the Consumer)

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Come dine with me!

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'