Quirky Book Enthusiast Gifts

'I need three books with burnt orange covers, one with chocolate brown and one with light beige - but no best sellers. I don't want people to think I'm trendy.'

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Reading my Critics

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Do it yourself books.

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Tree Funeral

Meet the author

"There goes our early night."

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

Fishing.

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

Learn yourself English.

Dummies for Dummies.

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Clara had come a long waw from those readings at the public library.

Boy carrying Samuel Richardson's 'Clarissa' for his mistress

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

Book market

3:00 pm - Meet the author

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'Yeah? Well I hate your guts too, but you're his dog and I'm his wife, so let's try to get along.'

Best sellers/Worst Sellers.

"Right here's the problem, apparently you have a novel in you"

Unabridged Dictionary