Quirky Bird Humor Gifts

Hoody Woodpecker.

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Ostriches making out

"Underweird bras."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

'Edible food! Eeeeedible food!'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Take me to your feeder,'

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Well, that backfired."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A couple of birds out on the town.

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.

Mom's Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.95.

Farmer Doll!

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

"I've just broken my glasses... Will I have to be examined all over again?"

Model Village - snort! snort! sniff!

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

Vendors.