Quirky Behavior Explorer Gifts

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

Unnatural History Museum

Fakir Shrink.

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

'Well, you have people pox.'

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

Distilled Elephant

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

"My tech-support is a lot better than my hot dogs."

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

Sign Post at the Zoo Reads:'Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Oh-My.'

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Community Bed de Luxe

Ice fishing on a floating sheet of ice.

"Have you tried wearing a beret set at a jaunty angle?"

"I'm puzzled as to why we're not making much progress on your seventies-phobia."

Overused Animal Cliches

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

Penguin on skis.

Q-Tip Company across from the Earwax Museum.

The shopping trolley up Everest.

'What kind of person are you?! Answer this yes or no question and you'll find out. . . Have you ever dropped food on the floor and went ahead and served it to guests?'

Latter-day saints