Quirky Beauty Gifts

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Hats and Food

Best before 65 million BC.

Pastry Hat

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Snapshots in Time

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

The latest in Eyewear.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Great tights!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

Real Estate Personals

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'