Quirky Beauty Gifts

He'll do your hair afterward if you ask nicely.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Pastry Hat

Best before 65 million BC.

Hats and Food

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Snapshots in Time

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

The latest in Eyewear.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Great tights!"

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Real Estate Personals

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

'My Master is easy to follow - He's wearing odd socks!'