Quirky Ailment Admirer Pillows

A belch of boils

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

Football Crazy strip six

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Slow moving and small brained were already two strikes. . . but many experts agree that the unfortunate stripe pattern was the main reason for the extinction of the Cerebex.

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

Today - Oswald the Human Wonder will Dive 1000 feet into a tea cup. (Lifeguard sitting nearby).

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'Well, you have people pox.'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

The Reclusive Flying Hell Rat

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

"Are you binge watching again?"

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

Circus News

'My client requests a postponement, Your Honor -- he's having a bad hair day.'

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

Endangered Species: Bipedal Tortoise.

"Thanks goodness, I thought she was pregnant?"

Hipster Coyote

'You always get one!'

"That explains your percentage of bat DNA."

"Don't worry, everything is the same, only I fart rainbows."

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

"Maybe there's something to this Darwin stuff."

Weasal

Terrainspotters.

"His baldness was way out ofcontrol, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"Looks like an advanced version of the bird flu."