Quirky Question Admirer Pillows

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

Football Crazy strip six

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Giant Sale!

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

'He's dyslexic!'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

Children's questions

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

Dog With Extravagant Face Mask

A mad scientist.

Noah's lesser known brother.

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"