Quirk Chef T-Shirts

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

GMOs: The Next Generation

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Stupid Microwave

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

Amy Sedaris

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

Artichoking victim