Quippy Pet Parent Pillows

"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

The Karate Kitten.

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

K9 Literati.

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

Doggy-3D

'You find it, Ben, you're the retriever!'

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

"It's only the wind."

"You stop it, now!"

Fetching some bread

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"You're spoiling that dog!"

"Is our owner hot?"