Quippy Pet Parent Pillows

"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

He won't sit, but he heels well.

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

The Karate Kitten.

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

K9 Literati.

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

Doggy-3D

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

"What do you mean you've got the dog house-trained?"

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

"You stop it, now!"

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

"It's only the wind."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"After so much fake news, how can I believe you actually threw it this time?"

'You find it, Ben, you're the retriever!'

Fetching some bread

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"You're spoiling that dog!"