Quippy Marketer Pillows

"This is our new Model 240. It does everything theirs does, and it makes a great-looking hat."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"That's our new church mascot."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

Floss Street Vendor

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Doomsday marketing

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'