Quippy Couples Pillows

Honeymoon

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Inappropriate Snowmen

Advanced footsie

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

A Prickly Pair

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"So that's where you were last night."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

'Flowers? From a garage? You're a darling!'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Prison Romance.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

And they lived happily ever after for a few years until the quirks they found so cute in each other when they were dating eventually drove them both insane the end.

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

Graffitti.

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Don't tell him anything."