Quinoa Queen T-Shirts

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Queen of Quinoa

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

The Queen

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Granny Wear

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."