Quinoa Queen T-Shirts

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Queen of Quinoa

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

The Royal Wii

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

The Queen

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Granny Wear

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'