Quick Wit Gifts

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Man walking by a dry cleaner's with a sign in the window saying "All work completed when you least expect it".

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

Man using an entrance canopy as an umbrella

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'He has his father's feet.'

"I am in so much trouble."

Birth of the Perpetual Fundraising Industry.

Greece Idyll

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

A heron wearing waders.

'Please sir - all of them!'

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

Working with Hahnium, which has a half-life of 35 seconds.

'I feel like doing a little writing tonight. Where's the checkbook?'

"On the contrary, Hank, I believe that in some cases, slapping a band-aid on a problem is a VERY effective solution!"

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

'Hit me in the head with a sledgehammer.'

Surgeon asking patient, 'Would you like this to go?'

'She's expecting pins.'

Bret drops back in the pocket and disappears into Federal Witness Protection Program.

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"Do you have any immature reading?"

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'