Quick Wit T-Shirts

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Man walking by a dry cleaner's with a sign in the window saying "All work completed when you least expect it".

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

Man using an entrance canopy as an umbrella

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'He has his father's feet.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

"I am in so much trouble."

Birth of the Perpetual Fundraising Industry.

Greece Idyll

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

A heron wearing waders.

Run. Freeze. Run again! Turn around. Run! No, freeze!

'Please sir - all of them!'

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

Working with Hahnium, which has a half-life of 35 seconds.

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

'I feel like doing a little writing tonight. Where's the checkbook?'

"I have half an hour if you want someone to get sucked into your drama."

"On the contrary, Hank, I believe that in some cases, slapping a band-aid on a problem is a VERY effective solution!"

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

'She's expecting pins.'

"Do you have any immature reading?"

'Hit me in the head with a sledgehammer.'