Quick Wit Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

The Thinker. The Listener

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

Oscar Wilde

A lesson in wit

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

Know-it-alls

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

Aleksandr Griboyedov

Jugular Vein

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

Back Down

If I may paraphrase an old saying, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to urinate like racehorses." ! !

Strike A Balance

"At work, they call me benchmark."