Quick Wit Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Please sir - all of them!'

'Quick, Bensonhurst-Shaw, I need a bon mot for today's meeting.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

A lesson in wit

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Know-it-alls

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Strike A Balance

Aleksandr Griboyedov

To some people, sarcasm is a second language.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

Back Down

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'He may be loaded, Tammy, but he's still a dirt-eating worm.'

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .