Quick-fix Crusader Gifts

'Excellent meeting. I loved the quick fixes, the simple solutions, and the easy answers.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

Two Players both holding the same cue.

One way only.

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

The European Union aims to eradicate tax evasion.

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

"I'm beginning to suspect this may not be anything so dignified as an attack."

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

"What we really need is a long term quick fix."

Trying to switch on the computer.

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

'Diet? Exercise... can't you just operate?'

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

Energy bills rise

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

"Says he can't afford the hospital's parking fees!"

Acme Tummy Flattening Kit

What everyone wants for Christmas 2022

"Every time I get out of my political silo and try to converse respectfully with someone who has differing views, I get whacked so hard I can't see straight!"

'We would save even more money if we delivered mail ONLY on Saturdays...'