Quick Bite Connoisseur T-Shirts

'What have you got?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Regular service or affected?"

Back in 5 minutes!

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"Quick swig first?"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Future Wrestler

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

The Waiter

WAITING ROOM

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."