Quibbler Gifts

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

'I got one this small.'

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

Death Watch

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

A Grumble Bee

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Where's the cheese?'

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

"Social media is becoming more and more complicated. How am I supposed to slip a political hate comment in a discussion about baking recipes??"

'Once and for all I want to know what I'm paying for. When the electric company tells me whether light is a wave or a particle, I'll write my check.'

Santa in hospital bed with intravenous milk and cookies in situ.

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

'When you said Bob acts like a little baby when he loses a hand, you weren't kidding.'

No, pal, I don't know if the chicken is free-range.

When your password asks for more characters, it doesn't mean your friends.

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

I like a screw-cap for the convenience, but I like a cork for

At the rubber chicken factory. . .

"Pardon me...shouldn't I be ahead of you? My private plane plunged into the icy waters off the coast of Maine over a week ago!"

Matter vs. Anti-Matter

'Yup, that was one ingrown toenail!'

'Syncronised drowning.'

'You have 90 days to fix the problem, or we'll fix it, and mail you the bill!'

Please Wait Here for the Next Available Pencil

"Look, I say 'Star Wars' and you say 'Strategic Defense Initiative,' so let's call the whole thing off."