Questionnaire Connoisseur T-Shirts

Gentleman answering opinion poll instructs woman to read his answer back.

Reading my Critics

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Men gossiping

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

S**t Threw a Goose

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Barbed Pen

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Hold that afterthought!"

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"It's too academic."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

Film Critic

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."