Quest Completer Gifts

'It'll be ready by next Tuesday.'

Homo Gamus

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Gamers

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Toastquest!

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

"Bev, send in someone who knows when I'm fishing for compliments."

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'Who is John Galt?'

I'm actually here as part of an ongoing quest to find the ideal form of analysis. Freudian didn't work, and Jungian didn't help, so I thought I'd try Pabstian.

'Nothing beats that Procedure Form C4/34.2FF6932 completion feeling...'

"Great interview! and your credentials are impeccable, there's just one last thing..."

'Come here and tell me what you think about this dress!'

'The keeper of the secret bowl.'

"And now, for your final exam, Caleb."

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

Incentives.

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

"Your appointment's at 2:00 but you'll need to be here by 11:00 to start filling out the forms."

Jigsaw puzzle

"Forget the damn white whale, boys! My disability claim was approved. Turn this tub around."

I'm on a quest for the holy grail! Stop calling me a "go-fer"!

"You'll need to fill out this form before we can assist you."

"Whoever can remove this shall rule all of England."