Query Letter Queen Gifts

'Are you printing your own book?'

Any time is cake o'clock

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Can you perform under pressure?"

Cleopatra

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Peek inside a woman's trunk, and you peek inside a woman's heart.'

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

Sure, it's just to find the royal remote, but a quest is a quest, Ernie!