Query Letter Queen Pillows

'Are you printing your own book?'

Any time is cake o'clock

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

'Peek inside a woman's trunk, and you peek inside a woman's heart.'

Cleopatra

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

'Now, don't panic, but just as a precaution, I think you should put the country in your wife's name.'