Queen Of Beauty Products Pillows

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Shampoo.

Lesser known greek gods,

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

A Manicure

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Some scents are nonsense.

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."