Queen Fan Gifts

"Can you perform under pressure?"

"What took so long? I wanted to be thorough, so instead of singing Happy Birthday while washing my hands, I sang Bohemian Rhapsody."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Head over Hooves

King George I

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

Wolf Karaoke

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'The King of what?'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'This is a real barnburner.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Have you mistakenly put dog food in the bird feeder?"

"I'm your Furry Godmother."

"I think they may have rumbled me, Sarge."

Reign Man

"One blackbird pizza?"

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

Boarway Show

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'